I Am Jealous


Part 1 (Highly suggest reading this first if you haven’t, this might not make much sense x)

Joe’s POV

“Hey” I said as she pushed herself into my car.

In the short walk from the restaurant to my car, the rain had completely soaked her hair and everything she was wearing. Bits of her mascara were smudged under her eyes but that wasn’t from the rain.

We sat in silence on the way back to mine. There was no point in talking. Just like the last time, I had warned her about this guy but this time I could see why she was hesitant.

“Thanks.” She said when I pulled into my parking spot.

“For what?” I asked. The way I saw it, I really wasn’t in the position to be thanked.

“For not saying ‘I told you so’.” She said looking over at me.


It had been 3 weeks since Y/N had broken up with Noah, the boy she had met in the library. The boy she had nothing in common with but was convinced that there was something between them.

This relationship didn’t last as long as her previous one had but she had been broken just as badly, and it’s all my fault.

After I met the guy, something just didn’t sit right with me. Sure he was a nice guy and he didn’t scream ‘I’m a massive dick’ like the others had but there was something off about it. Y/N of course didn’t believe me when I told her, which hurt. She said she valued my opinion yet didn’t want to hear it if it was bad. She wanted me to love him just as much as she did and I couldn’t.

It didn’t take long for me to figure out that I was just creating things about Noah for me to hate. There was still something off about him but since I couldn’t figure it out, Y/N continued to say I was jealous and after weeks of not being able to figure it out, I accepted the fact that I was jealous.

I think I was more tired of seeing Y/N get hurt than I was jealous. Yes, I thought we were the best fit out of all the relationships the both of us have been in, and yes I was beginning to actually fall for her but I was more tired of seeing her get hurt relationship after relationship.

Some might say that I was the reason why they broke up. Noah was already annoyed with me for trying to figure out what he was hiding and when I finally figured it out, he took it out on Y/N. They got into a big fight and didn’t speak for a few days until they finally agreed to met up for dinner and figure out what they were going to do. Y/N called me when the asshole didn’t show up which was a shock in itself because I really wasn’t sure she’d ever forgive me for meddling with her relationship.


“You really shouldn’t be thanking me. I’m a really shit friend.”

“Yeah you are.” She said getting out of my car.

I followed her up to my flat, giving her some dry clothes to change into once we made it inside.

“Are we going to talk about this?” I asked as she came out of the bathroom.

“There’s nothing to talk about Joe. You were right and I’m an idiot who should’ve listened to you.” She said disappearing into my guest bedroom before reappearing.

“Well will you at least let me apologize?” I said as she moved past me.

“Apologize for what? For continuing to dig and dig and dig to find something that you could use to show me that this one is just like the rest? For not being happy for me for once? From the very beginning of this relationship with Noah you have been a shit friend, a jealous friend who is so bloody annoying with trying to make sure I’m okay. I can take care of myself Joe.”

“Really? If you can take care of yourself why was I the first one you called last time. I am I the one you called minutes ago to come pick you up? Maybe I am jealous but I’m also tired of seeing you upset so I’ve been looking out for you.”

“That’s not your job Joe.” She said as the angry subsided just a tad, “I know Noah wasn’t perfect but I actually liked him…I was happy.”

“No you weren’t Y/N!” I blurted out, startling myself and Y/N.

“Yes I was Joe.”

“No Y/N, you weren’t.” I said hating myself for blurting that out, “I know what your happiness looks like Y/N and you weren’t happy. You’ve never been truly happy with any of your exes.”

“And what the hell does my happiness look like?” I wasn’t looking at her but I could tell she was rolling her eyes.

“You’re happy, truly happy whenever we are together. You’re happy when you can be yourself without having to worry about whether or not this guy will like you.” I said looking up at her.

“If you can take care of yourself, why did you call me Y/N? Why are you so concerned about me meeting and liking the guys you date….why are you here right now?” I asked after a long pause.

“Joe I’m not doing this.” She said as attempted to move past me again but I grabbed her arm to stop her.

I felt her body relax slightly in my grasp as she turned to face me, her anger filled eyes rounding out as she looked into mine.

Before I could comprehend what was happening, her lips were on mine and I was kissing her back. My hand that had been holding her forearm moved down to the nap of her neck, my fingers entangling themselves in her still damp hair.

“That’s why.” She said pulling away from the kiss.

I stared at her, not really knowing what to do. All I wanted to do was pull her back into another kiss and never let her go, never let anyone else hurt her.

She searched my face so some sort of response and pulled me into a hug when she found one, “Four years. It’s taken me four years to figure this out.”

“It’s taken me four years too.” I said quietly as I rested my chin on her head.

“I’m sorry.” She said into my shirt, “You’re not a shit friend and I should’ve never said that. It’s someone like you who I’ve been looking for, in all those other guys and I just now realized it.”

“I know you didn’t mean it.” I said with a chuckle as I ran my hand up and down her back.

Our lips reconnected for a moment before she broke it by plastering a huge smile across her lips.

“What?” I say pulling away and looking down at her.

“I just can’t believe it’s taken this long.” She smiled, pulling me towards the couch where we spent the rest of our night.